Another day I wasn’t seen
Invisible future a future unknown
The same words, the same story, the same feelings continue to flood my mind. I am down then I am happy, I am confident then I am shy, I am strong then I am weak. Reading my poems and feeling how low I get saddens me because when I am happy life is amazing, I am chatty….. too chatty, I am confident and bubbly but when I am in a spiral of depression I am low, quiet, shy and withdrawn. I feel upset just feeling what I was going through, the worst part is I don’t know at the time, in that moment, that I am even low, it’s only later on reflection that I can see just how very down I can get.
I smile now too, I smile because I do fight, I do push myself and I haven’t in years really felt a real fear that I will harm myself I am proud of that, of how far I have come, I am thankful to the people around me that have taught me to fight, to pick up on the signs of my spiral down because they keep me here, they keep me fighting, they keep me breathing, loving, living.