I’m sorry I stopped you growing
I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance
I wanted to try
but Mike knew best
he is young, talented
and has a world of opportunities.
I know what I did was the best thing
for you and for Mike
But it was the worst thing for me.
I can’t live this way
I am meant to be strong
but I am weak
I was stuck
I couldn’t cope with you dying
but I couldn’t cope with raising you on my own
I know my family was there for me
I am weak because I couldn’t do it.
I love you
I miss you
I regret not allowing you
the amazing life you could have had
I will never forget you.
I wanted to have the baby and I never even considered abortion until I was about eight weeks pregnant. I didn’t even think it was an option, I knew my family would help me but I couldn’t go a head with it knowing Mike didn’t want to do it. Okay he would have had a part of the child’s life but he didn’t want him (I have always thought of him as a boy). Mike’s parents were divorced and he had always promised himself he would never do that to a child and I couldn’t do it on my own. He was a pilot and wanted to travel the world, in fact we had broken up a week before I found out I was pregnant because he was going overseas, I was gutted. I have an amazing family so I guess I also started thinking about them and how important they are in my life so yes I wanted children but now, with this baby it was not to be.